so·​liv·​a·​gant | (adj) : wandering alone

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

About This Blog

Here’s some basic info so that anyone contemplating following me can interact in a way that feels best and most supportive to them.

- I’m “old.”  Yep, I’m over 40 and still tumblring.  If this bothers you, do what you gotta.  That being said, please do not follow me if you are under 18.  (If I follow you and find out you’re under 18, I’ll unfollow immediately, no offense.  I’m not hating on the kids, but this is an adult space and I’d like to be able to comfortably exist online as an adult.)

- Related to the above:  this blog is NSFW.  I am pro-sex, pro-slut, pro-thirst, pro-sex work, etc.  I don’t often post sex content, but I will when I want to.  That being said, I’ll also tag that stuff as “nsfw” so you can monitor or block that tag.

- If you’re some kind of TERF, transphobe, homophobe, racist, ableist, fascist, bootlicker, etc, fuck off.  To be perfectly honest, the amount of fucks I give about what Tumblr bigots have to say is in the negative numbers so if you are any of the above and feel that harassing people on a terrible social media site with your abhorrent views is some kind of brave and noble crusade, you might want to take a long hard look at what a sorry-ass person you are. blockt.

- I will block spam/porn blogs, so if you try to follow me and your blog has absolutely nothing on it, I’m gonna block you unless you message me or do something to prove you’re a real person, sorry.

- my fanblog is @the-luckiest-man; if you’re in the Fallout/gaming/whatever fandom and are wondering why this main account is following you, it’s because Tumblr is a completely dysfunctional platform and won’t allow me to follow from another account.

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pro-queer, pro-asexual/aromantic, pro-disability, pro-indigenous, pro-Black, pro-immigrant, pro-Mexican/Latinx/Hispanic, pro-AAPI, pro-did i miss anybody please let me know because I’m all for you being safe and supported and happy and fierce in this world, pro-fat, pro-femme, pro-butch, pro-anarchy, pro-punk, pro-trans, pro-nonbinary in all its forms, pro-abortion, pro-body mod, pro-write whatever fucked up fanfic you want, pro-having adult conversations about shit that makes you uncomfortable, pro-union, pro-rioting, pro-looting, pro-abolition, pro-therapy, pro-not going to therapy if you don’t want to, pro-feeding everybody, pro-recovery, pro-smashing the state, pro-knowing that discovering who you are is a sustained and ongoing process that does not conform to some hegelian concept of linear progress

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Also, people are in general not very good at actually offering or giving support, in my experience. You can straight up tell someone “hey I’m struggling super hard and I feel like I’m not going to be able to make it” and they’ll be like “awww that’s too bad ☹️ anyway I had SUCH an annoying day at work!”

Like, cool.

“You gotta learn to ask for help!”

Fantastic. How am I gonna trust you to ask you for help when you can’t even listen to me or give a single fuck when i’m trying to tell you how serious shit is for me right now? What kind of performance do you want from me in order for me to be taken seriously?

l-yre
annarcho-nicolesmith

The Joshua tree is on its way to extinction because so-called green energy companies want to keep the death machine of civilization going by installing large swaths of solar panels over the desert floor, a big metal blanket that will kill everything it covers: the desert tortoise, the sage grouse, the hawks and snakes and beautiful flowers that have flourished for thousands of years. Gone. Gone.

All so that we can keep the dead heart in the rotting corpse of industrial civilization beating into the next decade. These are the "good guys" btw, these are the "renewable" "carbon neutral" options: covering the desert in miles of metal and microchips until every living being without a bank account is dead.

queeranarchism

People in the notes: “You dumbass. Don’t you know we need to keep producing the exact same amount of energy we do now or all of humanity will die? We either maintain the world capitalism build or we all live in caves and die from an infected wound when we’re 26 years old, those are the only two possible societies.”

hook-line-and-anarchy

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Very cool and normal. Definitely something an ecologically-minded communist would say. For sure.

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From an unexpectedly intense article about BBC Earth presenter Chris Packham. Text reads: “In 2016, Packham published a beautifully written memoir, Fingers in the Sparkle Jar. The book is unsparing, describing a time he tried to take his life by overdosing. He says he has seriously contemplated suicide three times. "The first thing to say is that each time I’ve been in significant mental health difficulties. The autism has always aggravated that. It’s when you lose contact with everything, and no matter what people say to you, it’s not about them anymore. People say, ‘it’s really selfish to have those thoughts — what about those people who love you?’ They’re not there. That’s the point. They don’t exist at that point. There are no means of them connecting with you. And when you’re entirely isolated in a really bad place, then you’re in danger.” For all his talk of not needing people, he obviously does.“

The entire article is here.

It’s not really an article about suicide, or autism per se, but this paragraph really hit me right now. I’m not autistic but I think there are some similarities in how people with autism and ADHD related to the world. ADHD can be a very isolating experience, too, in that the combination of ways in which you process reality differently than "neurotypical” people can become overwhelming, like you’re living in a whole different paradigm. And to whatever extent ADHD is even a real, discrete thing, vs. a multi-symptomatic expression of trauma and early childhood alienation, I think there are some ways in which this cluster of “disordered” symptoms has greatly influenced the way I’m able to live and relate to human life. At various points yes, self-isolating becomes a choice, but in my experience it’s a choice heavily influenced by the way other people enforce that sense of social alienation in response to how my ADHD/trauma presents.


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Tony Kushner, Angels in America

angel-of-anarchy

[Text ID:

PRIOR: But still. Still. Bless me anyway. I want more life. I can’t help myself. I do. I’ve lived through such terrible times, and there are people who live through much much worse, but…You see them living anyway. When they’re more spirit than body, more sores than skin, when they’re burned and in agony, when flies lay eggs in the corners of the eyes of their children, they live. Death usually has to take life away. I don’t know if that’s just the animal. I don’t know if it’s not braver to die. But I recognize the habit. The addiction to being alive. We live past hope. If I can find hope anywhere, that’s it, that’s the best I can do. It’s so much not enough, so inadequate but…Bless me anyway. I want more life.

/end ID]

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